W1: Past Myself

Dear past myself,

    You may not have imagined that you have no goals for the future, but now you have a small dream that you look forward to and look up to. In the past, you were like a child with nothing to do, with no goals and no fighting spirit, thinking about how to spend a long day every day. I live in a well-to-do family. I am the youngest child in the family. I have the love of my parents and the love of my brothers and sisters.

    During the primary school, your parents had high requirements for your grades, but you refuted and protested again and again, unwilling to study hard and not study hard. When the UPSR results were announced, the results plummeted. Fortunately, you were lucky enough to enter secondary school. During secondary school, when you were in the rebellious period, you often liked to fight against your parents, and even more disliked going to school, and stayed with bad students all the day. When the  PT3 results were announced, your results were totally incredible. When your cousins find out, they will pretend to be good people in front of you to comfort you. But behind you, talking you are stupid, belittle you, look down on you and your family. Even, it has reached the point where lawlessness attacks you and your family, but you do not live up to it and do not bother at all.

    Until 2016, you had a grandfather who always encouraged you, loved you, and supported you. After a long treatment, he finally left this painful world at 1:05 midnight on October 27 in year 2016. Before your grandfather left, you promised him by bedside that you would study hard and successfully enter the University. A few days after your grandfather leaves, you start thinking about what your late grandfather said about how much he wanted you to succeed in the University. From that day, you swear to yourself that no matter how difficult it is, you must successfully graduate from college and fulfill your grandfather's wishes for you during his lifetime. On the last day of the funeral, you cried and burst into tears, regretting not cherishing him, and not saying a few more words to him... When the funeral music sounded, every melody and note seemed to have tens of thousands of pieces needle shuttled back and forth infinitely deep in the heart, causing endless pain.

    After the start of the new year's semester, the school's class placement rules will assign you to the accounting department. Fortunately, you are not in the same class as your former classmates, maybe it is fate. Since then, you have taken classes seriously and worked hard to get good grades. On the day when the SPM results are announced, you are not satisfied after seeing your results... Thinking in your heart: "Why have you worked so hard, but you still haven't achieved the results you expected...". Because the Bahasa Malaysia subject did not complaint the basic requirements of the government technical college, so you chose to retake the exam. When somewere ready, luckily the government polytechnic approved my admission application! Maybe this is the arrangement of fate, I think. Since fate has chosen me, then I will bravely accept the test from fate!

    In the process of preparing, my heart was very complicated. Because the Government Institute of Technology was far away from my hometown, it taken 4 hours to get there by car. This was the first time that I left my hometown, my comfort zone and the protection of my family. I had faced everything alone for the first time. On the first day of school, as an introvert, I was in contact with more than 200 students for the first time. I thought to myself: "The purpose of my coming this time is to hone myself, so I must take the first step bravely!". So, I used the Bahasa Malaysia language with primary school levels to communicate with strangers for the first time. During the chat, my Bahasa Malaysia language was too weak, they often cannot understand it. I need to cooperate with body language to make them understand. During that period, I gradually exercised my language skills and life skills, and also improved my adaptability and self-protection awareness. Finally, I successfully graduated from the Government Polytechnic Institute.

    After that, I successfully entered to Utar University and fulfilled my grandfather's expectations for me. Then, I also found the future that I looking for, and worked hard to move towards my dream. I look forward to the future and will bravely accept fate and challenges. Finally, I also cherish the time I spend with my family and friends.